I Spread My Wings and I Learn How To Fly!

So, I am bored right now. It's 7.40 in the morning and I'm still not asleep. Maybe after this. But before that, I am gonna blog whatever comes out from my mind. I really hope it won't bore you. I blog for people to read it. They can't hear my voice but they can read what I type. That's more than enough for me to spill out whatever I want. Before that, pretty pinky purple please, sorry for my bad grammar.

Okay, last night, I'd recorded myself using my phone. I... I talked about... myself. I just... I need someone to talk to. But I don't know who understand me and who to trust. I have best friends but I'm sorry, not really a true friend. Who listen to what am I saying. Who really truly deeply understands me. Who could cheer me up. Huh. I'm kinda relieved. But...

Memory full, I only got 9 minutes chance. It's okay. I talk about what am I depress about. How people treat me so unfairly. Everything. Well, not mostly everything on phone. I'll turn on the music in my phone and began to talk to the fan above. Lying on the bed. I sang. I cried. I laughed. Everything on the bed. Kinda lunatic but it can makes me better. Almost every night I'll do that. That's one of my way to make me fell asleep. To get a sweet dreams.

I'm not so funny but I can make my friends laugh when I could. I'm not so beautiful but I am inside. Well, I believe so. I have to be confident. I have to believe in myself. Even it's kind of hard. And difficult.

I am tired of boys but sometimes I want their love. Ew. Not gonna happen.

I love reading. That's how I get my hobby - writing. I love writing. I love fantasies. Sometimes I want to create mine so I started to write. And I don't know why but I don't like people to read it. Maybe it's kind of embarrassing for me. Yes, it is, that's the perfect reason. I always hide it. But my sister was reading them, she found it and I felt... exasperated. My books are my private stuff.

Sometimes, I'm a quite jealousy. You know, jealous why I am not better than other creative person. I'm not really good in drawing but I love to draw. I have a bad handwriting but I love to write. I'm not good in singing but I love to sing. I'm not good in English but I love reading English novels. But, I'm just a human. Every human has their own weakness. But every human are talented and smart in different ways. Like example, I'm good in writing but sucks in drawing while you sucks in writing but good in drawing. Right?

I'm just a human. I'm a girl. A teenage girl who feels like she still a kid. I am, right? I don't think I'm ready to be a teenager even though I started to be like teenager. Like normal teenagers - a rebel. Maybe I'm kinda more mature than girls in my age who thinks they're mature (but seriously they're not), I don't know. Maybe not. I'm still childish but in my thinking way, not really. I am both. A kid and a teen. SOMETIMES I'm an adult. Oh, forget about it. Random thinking.

Gosh, I mumble, babble a lot. I don't even know if people will read them or just... shut this blog. So, sorry to bore you if I did.

By the way, I think I like Never Shout Never's song. NOT Never SAY Never, kay? Bluekk. I mean Never Shout Never - the band - Christopher Drew - hello? Okay. Bye. By the way I watched 10 Things I Hate About You - LOL SO FUNNY! xD

K. Done. Sorry again for my bad grammars.

Truly Typing,
Najla N