Twenty Twelve.

So, another like few days more to 2011. I still haven't buy any preparation for school. Yes, you can put the blame on me whatever. But I'm kinda excited for school, but no, I'm not excited for PMR.

My sleeping pattern still fvcked up. I mean like duh, I'm in morning session, but I sleep at 7AM, I need to change my sleeping schedule. I don't know what will happen in 2012. Let's just hope 2012 will be a good year, insyaAllah.

2011 had been kinda terrible year. I don't like this year much. So many tears wasted. This year's heartbreaks are countless. And I've hurt people's feelings this year because I'm hurt, too. I've lost my best friend this year because he was in love with me.

I really wish I could have a guy best friend who won't fall for me. Or at least a guy best friend that if he likes me, I like him too. Easy.

Next year I will be in 3 Litium. Yeah, increased, alhamdulillah. Although I still want to get in 3 Hidrogen but whatever, Litium still, well, ok. And Lissa's in the same class, too. Heyyo, Lissa!

Ugh I hate my teeth. Ok let me tell you from the beginning. Yes, it's a tooth story, get over it hahahaha. So when I was 8, I raced with my neighbour. I fell and my tooth, um, patah. Omg I hate it. Then when I was 12, my school's nurse put some I don't know, something, you know, tampal. I don't know how to describe this effing tooth hahaha. Then couple of days ago, the tampal thingy already disappear lol, maybe because I brushed my teeth too harsh. And tada! Back to like when I was 8 to 12. Whatever, it's not that I have a crush at school I want to impress. But it'll be so embarrassing when my ex sees this. But when I was 11, we were classmates and he liked me, so whatever, we were 11, now he'll be 15, like me, I'm afraid they'll laugh at me. But better than having tooth that the nurse did. So, nothing to worry about. I'm still cute hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ok.

I just have to love myself. Pimpled-face, damned tooth? Ah, I'm getting used to it :3

Right now, I'm still waiting for Freddie Stroma to notice me and then ask me to marry him.

JK.

All my celebrity crush, or the prince, or those fictional characters I adored. Well, I love myself like this. I mean, I don't need to have crush on anyone, I mean, ever since I have these crush that never know I exist, or never exist at all, makes me feel happy being single. I'm free to dream about them. I don't need a crush I have to impress. Or heartbroken when they're with other girls. I'm happy being single because I don't need to lie to parents about me having boyfriend. And I feel free. I don't feel have to feel like a sinner because of I have a boyfriend. I'm still young and there will be a right guy come to me, not me who's hoping for them. I don't like hoping, especially expecting high hopes and all. I'm comfortable being like this, admiring guys that admired by thousands or millions of girls. Just, happy with my dream.

And yes, I should concentrate on study. Fine -_-

Although sometimes I do envy cute couple or feel lonely, but I'm just 14. Fourteen. I don't really believe that a right man will come at this age I mean like, come on. I'm still way too young. Those who desperate for lover at this kinda age, I really don't understand. We just have to focus on study, right? Unless you want to get married after SPM because you're too busy with love until you abandon study. But I salute those who still got good grades even they're in love.

Well, I got 5As in UPSR because of my crush so duh haha. The only crush, the first love, the only one I ever loved lol. Because I liked him when I was 11, so that feeling just got deeper, that's how I loved him. Notice the 'd' when I said loved? Yes, past tense. No more feelings, get over it. 3 and a half years in love with him, nah, whatever.

But I do admit he's kinda my motivation to study :P. I mean, he switched school last year and exam kinda down, then he moved back this year then I'm kinda up again..

Or maybe not.

No, it's not because of him. The reason I'm down because of my laziness and my procrastination. Whatever, ignore my stupid grammar and vocabulary, I really need to improve. The reason IF I'm up because thanks to Allah :-) And maybe because of me trying to study although it still not work because my exam result still sucks.

So ok, 2012, I really hope things will change. I hope I'll improve. I hope I can get straight As for PMR. I hope I can make my parents proud that they shed tears of joy.

I wish.

xoxo

Najla